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Feedback & Questions
Well, I'm trying to take
good care of myself once again. It's kinda difficult because I'm still sick
w/ my allergies, but I'm doing well
considering. Exercising (jogging) is
difficult because I am still sick & haven't done it in about 2-1/2 weeks.
My clothes are all tight which is
hard to accept. They were loose
after I got my wisdom teeth removed. I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay & what matters is
that I'm making strides to feel better
... I don't really have any desire to
binge anymore. That is. I'm not
hungry in the slightest bit. I'm just
a little sad about how I've spent the
last 3 weeks. But I can't change the
I'm moving forward despite my weight gain & I'm trying
to focus on the positive things such
as I'm no longer puking. I'm not
severely restricting. I'm trying to eat
healthy foods instead of just yogurt,
I'm trying to focus on nourishing
my body instead of feeding my soul
w/ food. I've come out of this &
I'm doing good at forgiving myself.
I'm trying to look at my body
through loving eyes & accept & be
happy w/ it. I'm wearing a belt w/
my jeans. I'm exercising, showering & wearing makeup. I'm spending time w/ friends & taking initiative to call them.
I'm serious about my
school work & am approaching exams positively. I'm not overwhelmed. I went to my 1st E.D.
group meeting last night & talked w/
other women w/ my problem. I'm
doing good at discarding my negative thoughts & trying to be my best
friend instead of fight w/ myself.
As I flip to find one blank
page I skim over the words I've
written over the last couple of
months. It's weird.
Here I am. Full as I can
be. Fat as ever. It sucks, but I'm
still learning & making progress.
My (therapist) is awesome. She's
really helping me through this.
She's helped me realize so much:
I'm not back at square one,
I'm in the middle of recovery the hardest part.
I've quit smoking, drinking,
purging, restricting ... all my
defenses have been taken
away. I'm holding onto food
for dear life. It's time to start
to let go. It's normal that I
would want to hold onto food.
I have nothing else to use.
I'm an incredible person w/
tons of strength, insight, etc.
I need to feel my feelings &
get comfortable with doing
It's incredible that I've made it
thru this semester w/ everything I've been dealing with
(And I even have good
I have to strengthen that voice
inside me that is positive &
I must stop Negative thinking
for my own survival.
Weight is no longer an issue.
It's about feelings.
If people judge me by my
weight they should not be a
part of my life.