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Feedback & Questions
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10/11 Well I'm skipping dance class because I a lot of feelings have been surfacing & I need time to tend to them. I'm going home tomorrow & I'm starting to feel a lot of pressure. I'm nervous about drinking at TX/OU parties, seeing old friends, looking good & taking care of myself. I think I can do it, I just have to prepare myself mentally. If I don't take the time to do that, then I'm just setting the week end up for disaster. The last couple of weeks I've really slowed down on working out. I've been feeling kinda sluggish & chunky. I've been tired from school & trying not to obsess about working out. I think I've been do ing a very good job of keeping it up even though it's at a minimum. At least I haven't quit. Last week I worked out about 4 times & this week only once. I haven't found any aerobics class I absolutely love & it's hard w/ my class schedule to make any of the classes. I've been jogging mostly. (2-3 mi) I haven't been doing weights or sit-ups. Sometimes it feels like I'm letting my body turn to flab, but other days I catch myself saying, "It's okay, your body's beautiful no matter what." I know sit ups & weights can be somewhat addictive. I'm trying to find a balance I guess. I've also been eating more over the last couple of days. I haven't been that hungry, but food has felt nurturing lately. I guess that's why I'm starting to get nervous. When I eat lately I've been feeling like I'm feeding my body; I'm fueling it. I'm giving it the nutrients it needs. I've been trying to raise my caloric intake a little. I'm at about 1500 calories & weigh 138-140. That's hard for me to accept. I don't want to weigh 140. I want to be 130 again. Last time I saw my family I was 130. I don't want them to see that I've put on weight. But then again, I know they probably can't tell 3 or 4 Ibs I'm a little bothered that my nutritionist didn't call me back this week to reschedule. It scares me. I feel a little alone w/ this. I will call her back soon. |
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